During pick-up at Choo Choo Train a few days ago, I was told that my toddler daughter had bitten another child. It broke my heart. The teacher had reassured me that biting is a normal toddler behaviour and I know it is often a way for them to explore the world, express themselves, or react to frustration, or as a result of teething discomfort but I just can’t bear the idea that my sweet little daughter has hurt another child.

As a mom, I’d much rather hear that my daughter was bitten by another child. It would be easier to accept as I can rationalize the typical toddler behaviours described above. Being on the other side of the biting incident feels terrible. If we were on a play date, I would redirect the biting behaviour and apologize to the parents. I wish I could show them how we are working on this behaviour.

The school didn’t let us know who was bitten. The other family was not told who did it too to prevent prejudice. Because I can’t apologize to them in person, I’m writing this for all the parents whose toddlers were bitten by another child. Know that we feel terribly sorry that our child caused your child pain. Know too that the teachers are doing their best to prevent this and working with us to keep this behaviour under control.

When biting happens in school, the teachers tend to your child first. They clean the wound with soap and water and apply a cold compress to soothe your child. They involve the biter in comforting your child and let them know biting hurts and teeth are sharp. Only after your child feels better the teachers will tend to the one who bites.

They find out what triggered the incident and offer solutions. In our case, my toddler wasn’t happy when the other child snatched her toy. Biting was her self-expression of anger. We are working very hard to teach her other ways of expressing her anger. We remind her every day that she can say ‘no’, ‘mine’, and ‘stop’ instead of biting her friend.

Again, I’m sorry your child was bitten by another child. I hope it doesn’t happen again.